Lost N Found

When you are lost and I look for you I get lost too. I miss the way that we used to be. We were one, a whole. Together the moon and stars were not too far away. Love was a word that we used to use, not anymore. I lost sight of who we were and why we were that way. I miss the old me that I was before you came. As the moon shines down tonight, I sit illuminated only by moonlight thinking about how once you made me so whole and now you leave me so very empty. I am struck with sadness. The tears are hard to hold back and the lump in my throat is even harder to swallow. These feelings are not because I miss you, but because wrapped up in you I failed myself. I gave you too much of me and left nothing for myself, so when it was time for me I couldn't even gather enough pieces to see whom I am supposed to be. This is far from anyone's fault other than my own and as hard as it is, I accept it. As hard as all of this has been, I came out with the knowledge of knowing that next time I have to leave enough reserved inside to know when I am losing me. The ability to know that if I have nothing left to give myself, I could never give anything of worth to someone else, and the wisdom tp know that it's not selfish or wrong to say no and save that much for myself. Therfore, I can always look back on this with positivity and see if nothing else it was a learning experience. Sadly, now it's time for me to let you go. I have no other choice, I have to find me. It would be selfish of us both to continue on this way. I have become a broken soul, damaged goods and soon it will only hamper your journey if I am beside you. I refuse to knowingly weigh down another ecspecially when that someone is one I hold more love for inside than I do for myself. I leave you holding on tight to the hope that while on our hourrney through life, our paths will cross again. And when that time comes, I can only pray that we will both be ready for one another. That way we can feel as we did in the beginning and we can lock more than hearts, but souls. It's only then, I believe, that we can truly reach what we both are meant to. I don't believe that either of us can alone... Until Then ~Blondie